Non-Jews are for practice
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
