so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
