at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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