I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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