You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
