I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Can I color on your dick again?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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