I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
