i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
