I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize