only if we run a train.
done.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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