Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
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