I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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