why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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