did you get engaged???
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
