Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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