I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
