And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
