I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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