If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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