I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
send nudes
from the living room?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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