I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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