I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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