i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
