Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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