Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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