since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
