so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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