Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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