someone get that fucking seahorse.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
