My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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