Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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