I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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