you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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