Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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