Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
It's Friday. Sex?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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