Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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