piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
