This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
