a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I have post one night stand depression
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
