can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
