it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
