I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
