i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
