dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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