Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
