We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
