I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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