it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
