Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
two words...techno handjob
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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