I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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