I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
