I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
they need to just BURY HIM!
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
