I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
